I hope the dead have internet access, cause this is written just for you.

Your funeral was on Wednesday the 22nd of June. Since I got told the news, I've felt numb. There's been points where I feel like I've accepted everything but then it's like I've forgotten it's all happened, y'know? It still doesn't feel real as I type this. I feel like I'm writing a script... a really fucked up script at that...

I must say though, I was so amazed at the turn out on Wednesday. I knew you were popular dude, but holy shit! You truly were King Bob... It's sad that we never had more time together... we'd known each other for so many years but I learnt so many different things about you that day. Your childhood dreams... your family... your actual student life... I wish I learnt these things from you as no doubt we would have laughed for hours together at all the fucked up stuff you did. You brought joy to so many people, and I'm sure every single of them all have hilarious memories with you.

Do you remember when we went to see Beardyman together? You got so pished then we danced for hours till you realized you couldn't take your jumper off as you were wearing a "Hitler's tour of Europe" t-shirt and were petrified to get beaten up? So instead you just took your backpack and wore it over your chest and pretended to be a pregnant tranny? :P Braw times lol.

I can't believe you actually mentioned the times in Ayr in your dissertation acknowledgments... I thought you were joking when you mentioned that to us!! Hahaha. My heart just stopped when you mentioned the times about getting the fear! I guess that's what happens when you get high with me and Andrew and we say "Oh, have you seen this?! LETS WATCH IT! IT'S GREAT!". So many times you would just scream out; "WHIT?! WHIT?! Aw naaawwwwww... whit the fuck, man?! THIS IS GEEIN ME THE FEEER GUYS". Hahaha, those times still make me giggle away :)

I never understood why you enjoyed saying "anal" so much either - but I do love how it became such a running joke between the 3 of us :)

I could sit for hours and list all the memories we have, but my last meeting of you will truly be my fondest. That was the day you and Andrew went to see Tim Minchin. You met us in Stereo for some "FUCKIN' TAPAS, MAAAAN!", we had some banter, you took great pride in calling me a wee dirty after learning some of the stuff I'd been up to, you even gave me a wee freebie bit of weed for the trip home (that was some really fuckin' strong stuff too!!) then walked me up to the bus stop. We all stood outside the station and then spoke about the slang we would use as kids! "That's a pure sin man! HAWWWWW that's pure shady!!". You then hugged me, told me to take care and we would meet up soon and have a wee smoke. I hugged you back, gave you a kiss on the cheek and said "I can't wait. Take care o' yerself ya daft bugger"

At least out last words together were meaningful. I can't wait till we meet again. We shall smoke together in the cosmos and the astral plane and discuss random things and have delightfully disgusting banter once again.

And with that, I will now wipe away the tears, pour myself a vodka, and try and get on with the rest of my life. I feel privileged for knowing you. It's like you always knew when we were down, for you would just appear randomly at the door with a big smile and hugs. You have inspired me to live my life to the fullest, for we never know when our time is up. You will always be missed from everyone who had the pleasure of knowing you.

Love you loads and enjoy chillin' with Bob Marley ;)

Stephen Roberts a.k.a. Bob

29th November 1986 - 9th June 2011