The thing is though, I’m not sure what to do anymore regarding these blogs. Looking back through them all, I can see that I’ve got over certain aspects of life that were bothering me – so yeah, I can say the initial point of these blogs has worked, as I always stated that I’d like to look back and say “I conquered that”. But now… I’m not sure if there’s much to say now.
Sure, I still have my mental meltdowns, I still have days where I want to curl up and die, I still have days where the concept of leaving the bed makes me cry because the idea of being around people is just a bit too much. The difference now though, I can deal with it better. I have new friends.
So what now?
Does the internet still need my angst ramblings?
I’ve seen blogs like Life of a Single Man where what they write about is real, but it also has a lot of effort into making a story out of the blog posts as well, which ideally would be something I’d love to do, but what the hell could I write about that would continue to entertain people?!
Well, I have an idea.
I’m on Tumblr (follow me here you swines!!) and I initially became more active on it mainly due to the amounts of dirty porno gifs and geeky shit :P However, my mate Linky tends to reblog a lot of feminism and body positive posts, which I now follow and tend to reblog a lot too. Only thing is though…
These body positive posts make me sad.
They make me sad because as much as I will joke about and make fat jokes about myself, I can’t find any joy in my appearance. Don’t get me wrong, I may have the odd day where I think, “oh golly gosh, my make up actually makes me look pretty good today!”, so this will result in a “MySpace style” pic! Just my face though, cause god forbid I show the world all my fat! Gotta be pretty, y’know?
Well, I’m getting to the point where I'm fed up with it.
I feel like a hypocrite, y’know? I support body positivity and it pisses me off when people deem us fat burds as unsexy and what not.
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| LOOK AT THIS BABE!! Image from http://letilor.blogspot.be/2012/05/sunday-remix-n1-rose-et-pois.html |
So why the hell can’t I think that about myself?!
I mean, my own boyfriend of 6+ years hardly ever sees me naked because I’m convinced he’d be instantly turned off by me!
"”Uhh…. why don’t you just put down the cake and go to the gym like anyone else then?”
Well, I’ve had a gym membership since December. How many times have I been?
Twice.
Do I still pay monthly despite that?
You bet your ass I do!
The truth of the matter is that I am lazy. And yeah, that’s my bad. BAD KAY. I’m sorry, but I’d much rather chill out with mates and munch cheese and chocolate and eat crisps :P
But yeah, I’m getting a bit off of the point I was wanting to make…
Essentially, I want to start being body positive with myself. I want to be able to say “I’m a fuckin’ babe!”… or something not as smarmy.
So I mentioned to Linky that I’d wanna maybe to a photo-shoot.
Will it happen? Guess we’ll just need to wait and see!
Please feel free to leave any opinions/ comments/ advice below!
Thanks
